Ask Sean the Friend
Sean the friend is our resident expert on all things homo
it's occurred to me that some of you are as clueless as myself on all things homo. i believe in telling the truth, because im from ohio, and ignorance is just plain retarded. to educate the world on all things homo, ive pulled sean the friend away from the bath houses just long enough to answer any homo-like questions and/or concerns you may have. sean the friend is a busy busy homo, so im taking it upon myself to gather your questions on his very gay behalf. if you must be explicit then by all means do so. sean the friend assures me that he is not pee shy.

all homo-like questions and concerns for sean the friend will be posted here


sean the friend is taking a week off from my payroll, enjoying some down time with his buddies out at fire island. he will be back in a week. until he returns with wise homo-like answers, i will post questions below on his very gay behalf



Dear Sean,

I am a girl who likes boys, so I am definitely not gay. What I'm wondering is: Why do all the guys I date seem so gay? They are all way into faggy stuff like "talking" and "feelings" and buttsex. They like me to wear their clothes, and take waaaay too much time choosing my wardrobe. Some of them have taken a very dictatorial stance on my make-up, and when I yell at them to just wear my scarlet lipstick and grey eyeshadow themselves, they get all
mad and tell me they're not gay. --What up with that?

Buffy in Ohio

P.S. Ohio Rocks!




Dear Sean,

I am not a gay. I am in college at the Universtiy of Iowa inagricultural journalism. I live with two other guys in an apartmentoff-campus. The other day, me and my roommates was watching Survivor onTV. All of a sudden, my roommate Mike who was sitting in the middle ofthe couch sprung a boner and showed it off - not naked, but he waswearing basketball shorts and you could totally see wood. He waslaughing and swatting it around. I didn't know what to do, so I justlaughed and punched him in the arm. Is he gay? Do you think he wants tohave sex with me? I am not a gay. I like girls only. I've got absolutelyNO interest in touching a guy and have never done anything gay. Exceptone time in high school I was drunk and my brother's friend tried tosuck my dick. But I am not a gay. Should I kick Mike out of the house oris he just retarded? I don't want to live with a gay because I am not agay.

Jerry in Iowa City




Hi again Travis!

....I have a question for your friend Sean for your section. How can you tell when someone is gay? I never know. Sometimes you can tell right off just by the way someone acts but I never would have known about my friend Bobbie's son until she told me. My husband thinks that the district manager might be gay becuase he never talks about a wife or girlfriend and he went on vacation last year to Florida with his friend Tony. Do you think he's gay? Oh I better go. My husband is yelling for me to get my cyber butt down to dinner. bye!

francine waters